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When it comes to having a heart for adventure, I’ve got it. But I’m also an exhausted mom. So, I wanted to share some ways that I balance being a tired and adventurous parent.
Recently I was reading a fantastic itinerary for taking your teenager to NYC and I got so excited to replicate the trip with my own preteens, already planning ways that I could make this an enjoyable adventure while balancing the intensity of city travel with realistic expectations!
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Here are some of my tried-and-true tips for planning adventurous vacations while battling chronic fatigue:
I have spent years trying to figure out if everyone is this tired or if it’s something that only I struggle with. I’m not positive that I’ve landed on the ultimate answer to this, but I have some insights to share.
One key part of my chronic fatigue is ALLERGIES! While I knew that I had some springtime allergies, I never realized that my main allergy symptom is fatigue! It turns out I have really severe allergies and they are still on the projection of getting worse each year. I’ll share how I address allergies in another blog post. But for starters, I wanted to put it out there that severe allergies don’t always display with the classic runny nose and itchy eyes. Chronic exhaustion and frequent headaches are my main indicators!
Back to the subject at hand… the very nature of being a parent is closely related to being exhausted. So, how can we still seize on adventure opportunities when in truth, we are battling extreme fatigue?
Incorporate rest into the adventure!
I take my Eno Doublenest hammock and straps with me on every adventure that will last more than a few hours! On a hike, my kids love to stop at any water feature and play. Perfect time for me to throw a hammock up!
Check prices here! REI, EMS, Amazon
Plan realistic vacation itineraries
My husband is truly an energizer bunny. I’ve often said that the only times I see him tired are when he’s sick or after he’s run a minimum of 50 miles. Yeah, it’s not human.
Fortunately, he recognizes my chronic fatigue and does a better job of planning for it than I do!
On camping trips, he often plans times for optional adventures. Typically he and one daughter head off after dinner for another excursion while the other daughter and I stay back to read or play a low-key game.
He also plans for the option to not move campsites every night. For example, during our upcoming trip to the Boundary Waters where we will portage our canoes to various campsites for 4 nights. This will be the most physically challenging vacation we have tried as a family!
We are already planning for the possibility of staying in one campsite for 2 nights. This will allow for me to have a rest day while he and the kids adventure around the area. If my energy level is better than expected, we have the option to pack up each night, but starting the trip with this option reduces my anxiety and the family’s expectations 🙂
He also knows that by mid-afternoon, I’m usually physically done, but apt to pretend everything is fine. When I push it like that, it almost always ends with me spiraling into a really negative mood.
SO, mid-afternoon always involves a long break (cue the hammocks) and he also makes the dinners at camp while I read or nap!
Find activities that your kids enjoy that also feel restful to you!
Family Book Club
I am an avid reader. So all those hammocking times mentioned above, I’m actually not usually sleeping, but reading. My girls also love to read and so I’ve started “Mom/ Daughter Summer Book Club” when we hammock together and read aloud.
That used to mean we all snuggled into one hammock… a cacophony of knees and elbows. Now, my oldest daughter prefers to hang nearby while my youngest still prefers to be physically in my hammock. Either way, I love it!
They’re also old enough to take turns reading aloud which really helps. Reading aloud is not as restful to me.
If you’re planning a backcountry trip, I recommend downloading books onto a Kindle. Yes, it seems odd to bring electronics into the backcountry, but it saves a lot of weight! The first book the girls and I read together was the first Harry Potter novel during our Killarney backcountry canoeing trip. We definitely could not have packed that book in if it wasn’t for the Kindle! I prefer to read on the Kindle Paperwhite. In fact, I just upgraded to the newest model because it’s waterproof. I don’t plan to test that claim, but it does provide peace of mind for our canoe trip!
GAMES:
This one can be challenging, what to do when they don’t want to rest and I don’t have the energy to engage in play! I freely admit that this is getting easier as my girls are getting older. Parents of littles, I see you!
Here are some ideas (most learned during my years as a camp counselor at Lutherlyn):
- Predator & Prey. You, dear tired Mama are the PREY. You sit in one spot, close your eyes and count aloud to 20. The kids are the PREDATORS (how apropos). They want to start close to the boundaries (set these beforehand) and hide. When you finish counting, you open your eyes. At that point, the predators freeze. If you can spot any predators, they’re out. You, the prey, cannot move, only turn your head to look. Once you’ve spotted any predators, close your eyes and count aloud again. The predators move closer. Keep going until you’ve found the last predator… the last predator is the winner! Discuss if that predator would have been able to catch the prey. Fun little nature lesson. If I have the energy, the winning predator gets to be the prey. If I don’t, my girls are very nice about letting me remain the prey while we play round after round.
- Sticks & Stones. This was a game that was taught during a Native American history lesson in the Environmental Education program where I worked and is a great one for the backcountry! Each player gathers 10 similarly sized sticks and one rock. You lay the sticks out in a row, standing across from the other player. You must be stationary (typically standing, behind your own row). Throw your rock at the other player’s sticks. Each time you hit a stick, that stick is removed. Take turns throwing the rock. Who can hit all of their opponent’s sticks first?
- Age appropriate games that your kids can play without you! This is golden, though it only works when you have multiples (Sending a hug to the parents’ of a single kid… you are their playmate! They reap so many benefits from your attention, but… oh my so much attention is needed!)!
We typically pack in at least one deck of cards for this purpose! Here are some of my girls’ favorite games to pack:- Uno
- Exploding Kittens
- This set of amazing females playing cards. I’m really trying to get them into SOLITAIRE. Mostly, they actually just like to make up their own card games (which never make sense. But I didn’t say that).
Creative Supplies
- Our girls tend to feel creative when out in nature. So it’s worth it to us to carry some basic supplies.
- This waterproof adventure journal is Hazel’s favorite.
- Heidi recently got this hiking journal and loves it!
- I love ink and watercolors so we will be taking this set with us on our upcoming vacation.
Accept help!
You may not have a partner along or your kids might be too young for some of these ideas, so please be gentle with yourself! You are exactly the parent your child needs!
Utilize the resources around you. Campgrounds often have kid-centered programs. While you may need to tag along, handing over the entertainment reins may help you over the fatigue hump.
Finally, plan for success. This past weekend, I was the solo adult packing and traveling to a campground. We ate at restaurants, had UNLIMITED technology use in the car and once we got there… I let my kids free range all over the campground! They had walkie-talkies and bicycles. They were happy, I was happy. It was fabulous!
I need to point out that I’m not a medical expert on anything and do recommend talking with your Doctor about your low energy. There are so many medical conditions that can be associated with chronic fatigue. I mentioned it to at least 3 doctors before one brilliant Nurse Practitioner asked about allergies. That was a life-changing discovery for me. It didn’t completely solve my chronic fatigue, but it has made a huge difference in my energy level and quality of life!
Oh, and I do pack caffeine pills when we are backpacking. Sometimes it’s not convenient to make coffee 😉
I’d love to hear your ideas: both for activities to engage in when you’re so-extremely-tired and for ways to plan realistic adventures!
